Oasis Quotes #2

"Nothing bothers me more than when groups like Pearl Jam and Nirvana whine and moan and complain about life and being famous. Let me tell you, being famous is great! The feeling when someone asks you for an autograph, unbelieveable!
I just think Americans are tired of people telling them how crap their lives are. I think when people listen to our music, we tell them how good their lives could be.
I guess I just can't understand the thoughts of Eddie Vedder or that whole bit... I mean, lad, if you hate your job so much, why don't you fuckin' go work at a car wash or McDonald's or something?"
- Noel, on MTV 1994

"Has-beens shouldn't present awards to gonna-bees...(drifting off) Well, I guess I should talk a little longer, so: I'm Rich, You're Not!"
- Noel's acceptance speech from the 1995 Brit Awards, after receiving best album award from Ex-INXS frontman Micheal Hutchence.

"It's like a game of baseball. The press hold the ball, but you hold the bat. So they toss you the ball now and again, and it's up to you to knock it for a home run and run around the stadium."
- Noel

They say, "How's it goin'?" and I say "Great." And then they go (affects empathetic voice), "Tch, you know what, man? I'd really hate to be in your position, man. I mean, your life must be really hard." And I'm thinking, what? You sell two fuckin' records in Gloucester, and you're telling me you'd hate to be in my position? I've got a fuckin' Rolls-Royce and a fuckin' bastard mansion, and an airplane and you'd hate to be me? Ha, not as much as I'd fuckin' hate to be you, you daft cunt -- living in a fuckin' squat with your bird and a fuckin' dog! Yeah, being a multi-millionaire is a big, bad pain in the ass, man -- you wouldn't want to wish that on anybody.
- Noel

Noel: "What are we gonna do now?"
Musician: Spend some of your money perhaps?
Noel: Yeah, but what on? I've got everything I want. I could only go and buy two of everything now -- that just gets boring.

"Jarvis is a star! I mean, all he did was get up on stage and get his belly out, but in England people thought it was so shocking. It's not as if he cracked [Jackson] on the head with a baseball bat -- which is what I woulda fuckin' done if I'd gone up there."
- Noel

"Yet again, I was right! It's a pisser being right all the time -- it bores the tits off me!"
- Noel

"This guy came up to me from some band and he said that 'Man, I'd hate to be you right now, no privacy at all' and I was thinking, 'Sure thing man, I have a fucking Rolls Royce, a million dollars in the bank, a fucking mansion and my own jet and you think you'd feel sorry for me? What are you? I'd hate to be you, broke as all hell living in the dole.' "
- Noel

Noel: Why don't you go downstairs and smash the bar up and say you're the singer of Oasis?
Liam: 'Cos I don't want to. If I did, there's nothing would stop me.

Dani Behr: Do you still have physical fights.
Noel: No. The last time was in March or May and we haven't done since because...
Dani Behr: Who won?
Noel: I did. He claims its because he was drunk, but I claimed I had won because I had a cricket bat in my hand.

Dani Behr: What's it like having loads of money now.
Noel: ...er...it's alright

"I do all the work so it's only right that I should get the most money. Plus I am the most handsome"
- Noel

"Next year I hope to get a stalker or two because I don't belive you've arrived until you get a stalker."
- Noel

"In Liam's world it's better to talk bullshit all day than be silent for one minute"
- Select Magazine

"Look at you, Whitey [refers to Alan White] - in the group for one year and already you got the big house and the car. There's me, right, struggling along for fucking years and then what happens at Christmas? 'Here you are, Whitey,' goes McGee, 'Here's your Xmas present.' And it's a car, a fucking car. 'Here you are Liam, lead singer, original member, who's worked his arse off for years, here's yours.' Compared to you, nish, fucking nish, and you've been in the group a year. Outrageous tackle."
- Liam

"But some bands give over eight hours for this," says the photographer.
Swiftly and bluntly, Noel and Liam put him straight on that one. "We're not some band. And your paper didn't make us, mate. And you know what about your Rolling Stone cover? Arsed mate, arsed."
- Noel and Liam and Rolling Stone photographer after Oasis walked off after 1 hour

"What makes Oasis different?"
Bonehead: "Good songs."
Liam: "And a handsome lead singer with a beard."

"What was your biggest break?" [in music] - Jason from New York wants to know.
Liam: "My biggest break was 39" [snooker].
Bonehead: "Mine was a hole in one" [golf].

Noel orders a beer, the rest opt for lemonades and Cokes. Above us, the TV is on. CNN News. "Have you seen some of the stories they have on here?" Noel enquires. "Check this one I saw this morning. There's this guy who's 75 and he's got cancer. So his doctor tells him he's got about two years to live. So he thinks, 'Fuck it, I've always hated my wife, the stupid bag.' So he kills her. 'What the fuck, I've got nothing to lose.' Then he's put in jail but, the problem is, he doesn't die. He's 99 now and guess what he's doing?" Noel surveys our expectant faces. "Suing the doctor," he cackles. "He's taking him to court," he continues, pissing himself. "And he's saying, ' If it wasn't for what you told me I would never have killed my wife and now you owe me ten million pounds.' I'm sitting there thinking, 'I know I live in a mad country but it's not half as crazy as it is here.'"
- Noel in America

"They're off their tits here."
- Liam on Americans

"I'm not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I'm John Lennon."
- Noel

"Imagine if us four were walking down the street, they'd all say , 'Look at those mad fuckers with their haircuts.' When in reality it would be them who are the nutters."
- Liam

"Now we all drink Pepsi"
- Noel after being sued by Coke

Liam: I need to be myself
Noel: I wanna be a Spaceman

"If there are any other oasis tribute bands, then they are paying tribute to us."
- No Way Sis